Friday, July 31, 2009
No, the Flash is not a superhero that flashes people. That would make an interesting and wildly inappropriate comic.
The Flash is the fastest man alive. How fast is he? Apparently, he is even faster than Superman. According to Ash, my nerd in residence, when a super hero only has one power, s/he is the best at that one thing. So, the Flash is faster than everyone else, even other superheroes.
Now, you may be asking, “Why is this even a super power? What good is being really fast?” Those are questions I’ve also asked. I guess Flash can run though things and he can even time-travel. He also got his super power from hard water. Now, I’ve taken a shower with hard water before and I don’t have any super powers. In fact, I make it a point not to run unless something is chasing me. If I recall correctly, Ash told me that now they say the Flash got his super powers from heavy water instead of hard water.
There has been more than one Flash though. I know at least two of them are Barry Allen and Wally West. I don’t know which one is older, and I don’t think it really matters. He’s fast, he’s a super hero, and he used to wear a bedpan on his head with wings attached to it. These days, the Flash wears the regular superhero spandex getup with little lightning bolt accessories. He also wears “tight pants to show off his bulges.”