Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Talking with a Fanboy 101

Here are a few tips for keeping the conversation lively when talking with a fanboy:

1. When your fanboy uses acronyms for things you don’t know, like JLA or JSA, ask him to explain what they mean. He’ll be happy to explain it, and it will make it easier to follow his lecture.
2. If your fanboy asks you to hand something to him, say, “There is no [something], there is only Zuul.” (This is a Ghostbusters joke.)
3. If you fall down, shout, “Live from New York, it’s Saturday Night!” (What nerd doesn’t like Chevy Chase?)
4. Try not to let your eyes glaze over when your fanboy tells you about his pull list. Just nod and smile.
5. If you happen to see a horse, you must proclaim that “they’re just banging two coconuts together.” (That’s a Monty Python reference.)
6. If your fanboy brings up the Justice Society of America, say, “I’ve heard about them. I love Hawkman. His head’s a hawk!”
7. If there’s a lull in the conversation, ask your fanboy why the original comics are better than comic book based movies.
8. If your fanboy asks you about your opinion about something you don’t care for, tell him “[Whatever he just said] is a great [whatever]… for me to poop on!” This way you can tell him how you feel and make a Triumph, the insult comic dog, reference at the same time. The joke might soften blow.
9. Ask him about his favorite Kevin Smith movie.
10. When he talks about the multiverse, try and change the subject. The only reason the multiverse exists is so that all the comics ever written line up with each other. Don’t think about it; it will make you go cross-eyed.


  1. Thank you! I'm glad I'm not the only one married to a comic book nerd. Did you hear they're making a movie about the green lanterns origins? Guess who'll be dragged to that!

  2. We need to form a support group! My husband just brought home "Green Lantern, First Flight" today...