Monday, August 10, 2009
I thought The X-Files was a cool TV show… when I was in junior high. I quit watching it after they killed David Duchovny’s character for the 8th time and brought in the other guy. This also happened to coincide with the time I got my driver’s license and got a life.
This show is about a pair of FBI agents who investigate weird stuff. David Duchovny plays a man named Mulder who thinks his sister was abducted by aliens when they were kids. His partner is Scully (Gillian Anderson) who is a doctor and skeptical about everything. All the geeks are in love with her. If you’re watching The X-Files: I Want to Believe (the 2008 movie) and your fanboy won’t stop the movie during the credit sequence, it’s only so he can see Gillian Anderson in a bikini at the end.
My husband never watched the show when it was new. He started to watch it in college when it was on every night as reruns. I tried to watch it with him, but 30 seconds into the show I would ask, “Is this the one when the guy eats the livers/they’re old on the boat\the incestuous family keeps their deformed mom under the bed?” I can’t remember where I put my car keys 10 minutes ago, but somehow The X-Files has a special place bored into my brain. Anyway, my ability to predict the episodes like the Stupendous Yappi* annoyed the both of us. So, instead of watching the shows for free with me, Ash thought the better to buy every single X-Files DVD ever made so he could watch them alone. Oh joy.
Here are my tips for watching this show:
1. Don’t watch the show during supper. Chances are, something gross is going to squirt and you might lose your appetite.
2. Don’t get too attached to Scully’s dog.
3. Even if you think the Lone Gunmen (a trio of nerds that help Mulder and Scully every now and then) are interesting on the show, don’t ask to watch their spinoff. It’s pretty bad.
4. Don’t watch the episode about the interactive video games that kills people. You’ll regret it.
5. It’s okay if Mulder dies. He always manages to come back.
*The episode with the Stupendous Yappi in it isn’t so bad because Peter Boyle (he was in Young Frankenstein and Everybody Loves Raymond) is in it.