Monday, September 7, 2009

He’s a Spider and a Man

It was a sad day for me when Ash pointed out that I do not know the words to the Spider-Man theme song. I used to think that it went like this, “Spider-Man. Spider-Man. He’s a spider and a man!” I guess I was wrong.

Spider-Man is a superhero that was once a nerd, which makes him relatable to fanboys. The nerd’s name is Peter Parker, and when he was a teenager he got bit by a radioactive spider that gave him superpowers. (In real life, when a nerd gets bit by a spider, he’ll usually just get a welt.) Even though he had some fun superpowers, Peter was negligent of crime and his uncle died as a direct result.

Haunted by his irresponsibility, Peter decided to use his powers as Spider-Man to fight crime. Spider-Man is fast, strong, and he can spin webs with his bottom, just like a real spider. He also has a “spider-sense,” which make him tingle. I think it helps him anticipate the future, just like psychic spiders.

Peter Parker is also a photographer, and he takes a lot of photos of himself as Spider-Man, which he sells to a newspaper. Additionally, Peter has trouble in his love life. He tries to date, but he never complains to the waiter if there is a fly in his soup. He usually just traps it in his webbing, which usually doesn’t entice women to try a second date with him.

(Drawing by Fanboy Wife, based on a picture by Jack Kirby)


  1. Sad confession uprising....My husband *sighs* and his friend decided to come up with a "porno" spiderman version. Guess where the webbing comes out.

  2. I'm wondering how the webbing would enhance the experience, bodoba. I would think it would get in the way!
    Thanks to the Simpsons movie I now can't remember the real words to the song and just sing "does what ever a spiderpig does."

  3. Thanks for sharing that, Bodoba... My husband thinks that your husband is hilarious!