Monday, December 13, 2010

Hiatus

I need a break, and so I’m going on hiatus. Check back for updates after New Year’s Day!

Friday, December 10, 2010

Pineapple Express

Ash has a copy of Pineapple Express because Seth Rogen is in it, and Ash was on a Seth Rogen kick for the longest time. Fortunately, I’ve never had to see it. The only people that I’ve met that like this movie (other than Seth Rogen fanatics) are teenagers that smoke marijuana. I think it’s really odd that Ash would like this movie though if there is drug use in it because Ash can’t stand to be around people who use illegal drugs in real life.
  

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Clint Magazine

  
The only two things I know about Clint magazine. I know that it’s made by the guy who made Kick-Ass and Ash is discontinuing his subscription.

Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Doctor Who: The Horns of Nimon

  
Even though Doctor Who killed our last television, Ash has been risking it by watching it on our new TV set. This weekend he watched The Horns of Nimon, and even Ash had to admit the costumes were horrible.
    
These episodes attempt to retell the Minoan myth about the labyrinth, except the maze is in space. Instead of a minotaur, the monster is a lanky guy with go-go boots, a golden loincloth, a big orangutan mask with neon horns, and his name is Nylon. Nylon terrorizes Doctor Scarf, his companion, and a bunch of people in gold jumpsuits. However, I think Nylon’s mask was supposed to look like a bull because in one scene the Doctor waves a small red scarf to get Nylon to charge, even though real cows are colorblind. This could explain why Nylon never chased after the companion, who was wearing a red coat. Regardless, Ash commented a few times about how the costuming hindered his Doctor Who experience.
    
The storyline ended with several other golden loincloth-clad aliens joining the first, and they growled at the humans and chased them around the ship. Eventually, the companion got a magic wand and shot the aliens. K-9 made a special appearance and shot one of the “minotaurs” too. Their deaths were quite pitiful, and I don’t know if I should blame the acting or the costuming. There was also an evil human whose own death scene made the aliens’ acting look good by comparison. At one point, I snuck the remote away from Ash and turned off the TV, which was quickly met by his wrath!

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

More Rush


     
Ash is on a Rush kick again. He’s to the point now that he is beginning to all Rush songs, even ones he previous hated because he knows other fanboys on the internet like them. Woe is me!

Monday, December 6, 2010

Fanboy Hanukkah

Even though we’re in the midst of Hanukkah, Ash hates playing dreidel with me. I’ve decided to up the ante by substituting the candy with Doctor Who DVDs for a game of Fanboy Dreidel. Here are the rules.

     

      
1. Divide all of the fanboy’s Doctor Who DVDs evenly amongst the players. (Other movies and TV shows can be substituted. For example, Star Trek would make a good substitution so the players really can “spin a dreidel with Captain Kirk and Mr. Spock.”)
2. Each player will put one DVD in the pot.
3. Each player takes a turn spinning the top and does what the symbol indicates.
  • For “Gimel,” the player takes everything in the pot. Everyone puts a new DVD in the center to rebuild the pot.
  • For “Hay,” the player takes half of the items.
  • For “Shin,” the player puts one in the pot.
  • For “Nun,” the player does nothing for that turn.
4. When the fanboy grows weary of the game, or he loses all of his Doctor Who movies, the game is over and the players get to do whatever they like with their winnings. Usually, the prizes are eaten, but I think DVDs might be a little too crunchy. I recommend putting them in the microwave to soften them up a little.

Friday, December 3, 2010

MST3K 10.2

Because Mystery Science Theater 3000 was unable to continue to sell volume 10 with Godzilla vs. Megalon, they switched the DVD for Giant Gila Monster. They simply switched one giant lizard for another.
 
  
Fortunately for me, Ash purchased MST3K Volume 10 before the switch. Additionally, instead of making people who bought the first release of Volume 10, Rhino sold the Giant Gila Monster DVD as a single. A bonus feature on the disk features Dr. Forrester, TV’s Frank, and Joel in front of green screens encouraging viewers to throw out their copies of Godzilla.
   

Thursday, December 2, 2010

This End Up

Ash got his new shipment of comics yesterday. He was at work when the package arrived, so I had to decorate it. This drawing not only captures my artistic ability, but it also clearly illustrates my maturity.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Abin Sur

   
According the Green Lantern folklore, Abin Sur was an alien Green Lantern that Hal Jordan inadvertently killed. Hal Jordan took the dying alien’s ring and became the next Green Lantern. Even though he was given superpowers, he was punished by having to wear a dork costume.

Monday, November 29, 2010

The Unwritten

Ash has been reading The Unwritten recently. He said it’s a book about an author who wrote a series of popular magical books like Harry Potter. The author named the character in his book after his son, so it’s similar to boy whose father wrote Winnie the Pooh. At the peak of his career, the author disappears and the comic is about his son and his wacky adventures.
   
   
Strange things start happening to the author’s son when things from the novels start to come to life. I know Ash told me more about what was happening because his is really excited about this title, but I think I drifted to sleep when he was telling me about it. The only other thing I know about this book is that Ash has let the comics pile up for a year, and now he is finally reading them.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Seth Hornet

(Bad drawing by Fanboy Wife.)
  
Say it isn’t so! I heard that Seth Rogen is going to be a superhero in a movie. He’s going to be the Green Hornet. I know about the Green Lantern and the Green Arrow, but I don’t think Ash reads much with the Green Hornet. I’m sure my husband will end up purchasing this movie. I really can’t say that I am looking forward to seeing Seth Rogen gad about in a spandex suit.

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Freedom from Comics

In 1943, Norman Rockwell made a very famous painting called Freedom from Want. It features a family excited for a turkey dinner. It appears that grandma is bringing in the giant bird, while grandpa stands ready to carve it. Various family members are gathered around the table in anticipation, and my favorite part of the painting is the man in the lower right hand corner. Only the top of his head can be seen, but he looks like a goofy uncle who is trying to be the center of attention.

  
Anyway, last year I saw this parody of Freedom from Want in the back of one of Ash’s comics. While the superheroes are all gathered for what appears to be a Thanksgiving feast, it seems that Power Girl ruined the main course at first glance. However, a second look will reveal that it is only cardboard cutout of a burnt turkey, because otherwise that Blackest Night logo would have had to conform to the contours of the bird. The real turkey is in the other room waiting for Superman to heat it up with his x-ray vision.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Leave Red Dwarf Alone

Usually, I chose to write about my husband and poke fun of the things that likes. Occasionally, I also write praises to MST3K and Bruce Campbell since those are things that Ash and I both enjoy. However, today, I am going to break tradition. Instead of just teasing my husband, I am going to mock complete strangers who loath and despise me because I don’t care for Red Dwarf. Here is a picture I drew for them.

(Drawing by Fanboy Wife.)
 
(If you’re a person who enjoys Red Dwarf, but you are not fanatic about it to the point of calling people who don’t like it names, then this has nothing to do with you. Then again, you’re probably a reasonably sane person and won’t be insulted anyway.)

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

MST3K 10

When Mystery Science Theater 3000 Volume 10 was originally sold, it included Godzilla vs. Megalon, Swamp Diamonds, Teen-Age Strangler, and The Giant Spider Invasion.

  
Godzilla vs. Megalon is about the people of Seatopia rising up to conquer the Earth. Fortunately for the Earthlings, Godzilla teams up with a giant robot to save the day. Unfortunately, Rhino lost the rights to sell this movie, so volume 10 is no longer sold with Godzilla vs. Megalon. (It is possible to buy a used copy for an extremely high price, but even I don’t like the show that much!)
 
The second episode begins with the short, What to Do on a Date. I learned that going to the movies is a bad idea, but weenie roasts and rummage sales are romantic. Tom Servo tried to apply why he learned in an attempt to woo Gypsy. The main feature is Swamp Diamonds, which is about a group of female convicts and an undercover cop who break out of jail in an attempt to find some diamonds in the swamp.
 
Teen-Age Strangler is truly dreadful. The spoiler is that it’s a movie about a strangler whose victims are teenagers; it’s not about a teenager that strangles. The best host segment is when Mike transforms into a whiney character from the movie and confesses that he stole a bicycle.
 
The last movie is The Giant Spider Invasion, and it just about unwatchable. Unlike some other films featured on MST3K, this one is memorable too. It’s about a drunken woman, her hideous and unfaithful husband, their skanky daughter, a scientist in a pants suit, and condescending scientist, a guy who was on Gilligan’s Island, a prostitute, a bunch of spiders, spider puppets, and the local townsfolk. A meteor lands in Wisconsin, and giant spiders hatch. Those spiders grow up to become giant spider puppets, which terrorize the town.
 

Monday, November 22, 2010

Nemesis

Despite the hard economic times, Ash is doing his fanboy duties and continues to support the comic book industry even though we can’t afford to turn on the heat. One of his more recent acquisitions is Nemesis, which is made by the guy who made Kick-Ass. (Kick-Ass was a comic that was later turned into a movie that I didn’t watch. Ash watched it, but I was busy making pasta e fagioli.)

  
Ash said that Nemesis is about, well, a nemesis. The main character hunts down police chiefs because his mother was punished for a crime she committed. At one point, he abducts a man’s children and will only release them if the man learns three family secrets. The man finds out that his son is gay, his daughter had an abortion, and his was cheated on him. Nemesis releases the children, but the daughter is pregnant with her brother’s baby. Nemesis used a magical formula during the IVF process that will make it is so the daughter could never have children again if she aborts her inbred fetus. Apparently, Nemesis is a pro-life fanatic. He’s also extremely pronatalist if he thinks the worst thing that could happen to the daughter would be infertility. I guess adoption doesn’t exist in this aspect of the multi-verse.
  
The front cover if issue one states that Nemesis “MAKES KICK-ASS LOOK LIKE $#!T.” If this is better than Kick-Ass, I feel pretty fortunate that I was cooking while Ash was watching TV.

Friday, November 19, 2010

Captain America’s Ears

Have Captain America’s ears always been visible? Don’t his little ears get cold when he’s fighting for democracy?

Thursday, November 18, 2010

More Witchblade

       
The last time I wrote about Witchblade Ash wasn’t too impressed. Apparently, I lack imagination and whimsy because I’m not impressed by a story about scantily clad women who have magical gloves that turn into knives.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

Reason #321 Why I Don’t Read Comics

 

I choose not to read comics because it would reduce the amount of time I have to make fun of my husband.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Glittery Shirt

Here is yet another one of Ash’s shirts. This one is special because the yellow ink is covered in glitter and sparkles in the light!

Monday, November 15, 2010

The Rapture

 
In all of my studies of pre-tribulation and post-tribulation eschatology, I never knew that there was a version of the Rapture that had to do zombie cannibal soldiers that played with their food.

Friday, November 12, 2010

Spider-Man Saga

When Ash got his pile of comics he said, “Oh goody, Spider-Man,” when he found the free copy of Spider-Man Saga in the box.
  
     
I was originally going to criticize the unusual proportions of the woman on the cover, but instead I’m just going to ask if anyone else thinks it looks like Spider-Man is just checking out her arse?

Thursday, November 11, 2010

MST3K 11

I’ll admit that I prefer Mystery Science Theater 3000 episodes that feature Mike instead of Joel, and even though MST3K 11 has 75% Joel I still enjoyed it. The episodes include The Ring of Terror, The Indestructible Man, Tormented, and The Horrors of Spider Island.
 
  
The Ring of Terror is about some very old medical students who go through hazing to be in a fraternity. The opening scene features a man looking for his cat Puma, which is a reference that pops up in later MST3K riffing.
  
The next film, The Indestructible Man, is bad but I’ve seen worse. It’s about a convict that was executed brought back from the dead, and he goes on a rampage. A cop and a burlesque dancer save the day. The best part of this episode is when Joel tries out the extreme close up technique that was used in the movie, but the robots lick him off camera.
  
The last Joel episode in this set is Tormented, which is about a Jazz musician who lets his girlfriend fall to her death right before he gets married to a different woman. After her death, the musician is “tormented,” but it really looks like he was merely annoyed for most of it. There was a scene when the dead girlfriend’s head shouts, “Tom Stewart killed me! Tom Stewart killed me!” This lead to Tom and Crow removing their own heads so they could shout, “Joel Robinson killed us! Joel Robinson Killed us!”
 
The final disc in the set is Horrors of Spider Island. The movie is about a group of dancers who get in an airplane crash and have to murmur listlessly around an island that is home to a giant spider. Mike and the bots also experience their own plane crash, while in drag, in order to share the dancers’ experience. The giant spider on the island was quite laughable, which caused Mike to make his own terrible spider costume.


Wednesday, November 10, 2010

More Useless Things Ash Owns

 
Ash came home with a Flash keychain recently. Perhaps I made fun of him a little too much, because I found his Green Lantern and Justice League of America key chains hidden away on a shelf.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Luke Cage

Luke Cage was Power Man, and he has indestructible skin. Ash said that he was a blacksploitation character from the 1970s who wore a tiara. Power Man was teamed up with Iron Fist, but he was killed, and then later brought back. Anyway, Power Man just goes by his name now, and he doesn’t team up with Iron Fist that often either. Luke Cage also knocked up another superhero, Jessica Jones, and later married her in the Alias story.
 
   
Now, Luke Cage is in The New Avengers and he’s possessed by a demon, who is trying to find the Eye of Torquemada (of whatever it’s called). He’s also bald and a giant. Dr. Voodoo is supposed to be in charge of the Eye, but demon got a hold of it and took it to another dimension.

Monday, November 8, 2010

Ghost Pillow

 
Halloween is my favorite holiday, and I always buy a lot decorations in November when they’re on sale. This year, I bought a ghost pillow amongst many other things. I think it’s Ash’s favorite new toy. When he first saw it, he said he wanted to make a red circle pillow with a slash through it to convert it to a Ghostbusters pillow. Additionally, Ash keeps doing the voice from The Real Ghostbusters cartoon bumps and having the pillow tell me, “Goodbye,” and “We’ll return to The Real Ghostbusters after these messages,” when I’m on my way out the door to go to work.

Friday, November 5, 2010

Ash’s Wardrobe

 
Ash has a job where he can wear basically whatever he wants to work. There might be something in the dress code about no pajamas or ass-less chaps, but otherwise the rules aren’t very strict. Anyway, Ash has decided that this is the perfect opportunity to buy even more superhero t-shirts. I guess on the one day he didn’t wear a nerd-shirt recently, his colleagues were concerned. The sad thing is that Ash has accumulated so many comic t-shirts he can go a few weeks without repeating one.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

MST3K Volume 12

Volume 12 of Mystery Science Theater 3000 was the last boxed set put out by Rhino, and it contains The Rebel Set, Secret Agent Super Dragon, The Starfighters, and Parts: The Clonus Horror. There are two episodes with Joel and two with Mike.


The first episode has a short called Johnny at the Fair, which is pretty amusing. It’s about a child who gets lost at the fair, and of course Joel and robots mock him. The Rebel Set is a black and white film about a group of men who plan to steal money and escape on a train. The crew talks about what they would do during a long train stop, and only Tom Servo has violent plans.
 
Secret Agent Super Dragon has a horrible theme song, and it will burrow itself into your brain. Even worse, Crow and Tom sing the song again. The show itself is about an James Bond knockoff who has to solve a mystery about drugs or something, and it ends with a masquerade party in Amsterdam.
 
The first episode with Mike is The Starfighters, which is about pilots in the army. Many of them have very bad sunburns, and there are a lot of innuendoes about refueling in flight. Crow spends a good portion of the episode trying to connect to the “information super highway,” and the United Servo Academy Men’s Chorus sings. There’s also a great scene when the pilots test out their poopie suits.
  
The last disc is Parts: The Clonus Horror, and the highlight of this episode features Crow T. Robot’s new nose job. The movie is about a clone camp, and the whiniest clone escapes to find his clone daddy. The movie ends with a lobotomy or two and featured Peter Graves, who went to the University of Minnesota.

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

More Flash Shirts

How many Flash t-shirts does an adult man need?


I’m sorry, Ash, but the correct answer is “zero.”

Monday, November 1, 2010

Flashy Toga

For Halloween this year, we had a toga party yet Ash managed to sneak in a little bit of superhero-ness into his costume. The pin he used for the outer layer of his toga was his Flash pin. He was the fastest Roman alive.

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Pumpkin Carving Contest Deadline

Don’t forget to share photographs of your pumpkins for the Nerd-O-Lantern Contest. Upload the photos to the Fanboy Wife facebook fan page or post a link by Friday, November 5th.

Friday, October 29, 2010

Ash’s Underpants

I never thought I’d see the day when photos of my husband’s underwear were posted on the internet, yet here it is and it’s my fault.
 
 
For Ash’s birthday, he was wanted many nerdy things, which included more Ghostbusters apparel. They wouldn’t be so bad, except the placement of the “no ghost” log on the back disturbs me.
 

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Wrestling

 
Even though many of Ash’s friends share in his nerd-dom, they don’t all just read comic books, watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and tape their glasses. A few of his friends are really into professional wrestling. Ash wrestled when he was a kid, and he likes to watch it on TV occasionally, but I am very thankful that he doesn’t follow wrestling with as much fervor like he does with Doctor Who.

Wednesday, October 27, 2010

DC Price Drop

Fanboys nationwide are rejoicing because DC is going to decrease the cost of their comics from $3.99 to $2.99. Does this mean that my husband will take his savings and finally start a savings account? I’m pessimistic. At best, he’s going to take the extra money and buy a few extra comics. At worst, he’s going to double his amount of purchases and I’m going to get stuck paying more than my share of the bills each month.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Thor

 
Ash has been getting in touch with his Norwegian heritage lately. He brushed up on his family history, eats lingonberry preserves, and reads Thor. At least he isn’t trying to serve pickled herring for dinner!

Monday, October 25, 2010

Stripper Ghostbusters Costume

I love Halloween, and Ash and I host a party each year so we can watch scary movies, eat candy, and wear costumes. Because I usually sew our costumes, we often only buy decorations when we go shopping this time of year.
  
Now, I know that a lot of women chose to dress up as strippers for Halloween, but it seems to be getting worse and worse each year. Ash and I recently went to the local seasonal Halloween store and passed through the women’s costumes to get to the decorations, and the first thing Ash noticed was a women’s Ghostbusters stripper costume. Ash pointed it out and said, “Let’s get Ghostbusters costumes this year.” I told him, “I don’t think it comes in your size.” Besides, he has enough Ghostbusters clothing.

 

Friday, October 22, 2010

Pearl, Bobo, and Brain Guy

Pearl Forrester was Dr. Forester’s mother, but she liked TV’s Frank more. She also liked Crow, but called him Art. Anyway, Pearl appeared on MST3K from time to time until the show was moved to the Sci-Fi Channel. After the move, she became the main antagonist.
 
(Drawing by Fanboy Wife.)
 
At first, she was on a planet where “apes evolved from man” and after it was destroyed, she acquired Professor Bobo as a sidekick. Even though Bobo was a distinguished professor of anthropology, he had a red butt and poor hygiene.
 
The other sidekick is Observer, who was a pale alien that kept his brain in a dish. Observer was omnipotent, but he suffered from body odor (even though he insists that he doesn’t have a body.) He often went by the name “Brain Guy” instead of Observer.

Thursday, October 21, 2010

Cowboy Ninja Viking Book

  
On the back of one of Ash’s comics, I saw an advertisement for the Cowboy Ninja Viking trade paperback. I am so glad that Ash had the clarity of thought to remember that he did not enjoy reading the comics and resisted the urge to purchase the book.