Sunday, February 28, 2010

Superboy Prime

Superboy Prime is a character that is a Superboy, but he’s not the Superboy that is also Superman. Because comics all need to be consistent and fit in their own little dogmas, comic book creators have developed this complex multiverse where all of the different stories can exist simultaneously without invalidating each other so fanboys can sleep soundly at night. Superboy Prime is from Earth Prime, which is one of many incarnations of the Earth. Earth Prime is from the multiverse before Infinite Crisis.
I believe Ash said that Earth Prime is the “real” Earth, where the readers live. On Earth Prime, people read about Superman and so forth, but apparently there are no superheroes. However, a baby alien from the planet Krypton came to Earth, and he was raised by the Clarks. This boy grew up reading comics, but he didn’t know that he was a Kryptonian and had superpowers. He didn’t know that he was Superboy at first.

In the Crisis on Infinite Earths story, Superman from Earth 1 or Earth 2 jumped the time-space-continuum and got Superboy. DC Comics didn’t want to kill off Superboy, so they had him, Superman from Earth 2, Lois from Earth 2, and Alexander Luthor (not Lex Luthor) all get sucked into a black hole-thingy. After Crisis on Infinite Earths, the creators pretended that Superboy didn’t exist anymore. They didn’t want Superman to have ever been Superboy.
Superboy Prime is the living embodiment of fanboys. He reads comics, but then it turns out that he really is a superhero. However, Superboy Prime eventually turns evil.

Saturday, February 27, 2010

A Few More Links

My blog made the list over at Sunset over Slawit.

I also have a link from Underpants on the Outside, which has one of the funniest blog titles I’ve ever read. If anything, just visit the site to see the banner at the top!
Last week, the Spider-Man movie website linked to my most recent Spider-Man post. The most amusing part of that was the advertisement that went with the link. It seems that Google believes that people who want to read my blog are in need of mail-order brides!


Echo is a comic about a woman who came into contact with some secret government metallic goo. It attached to her body, and it gave her superpowers. Because she’s covered with a thin metal coating, this woman doesn’t feel the need to wear clothes. I also think she’s on the run from the government.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Captain Marvel

Captain Marvel is the alter ego of a kid named Billy Batson. Even though Billy Batson is a little kid, all he has to is say the word, “Shazam,” and then he is magically transformed into the adult Captain Marvel, who is pretty much like Superman. He wears a red suit and has a cape. Billy uses this superpower so he can get into R-rated movies and buy beer and fireworks.

Captain Marvel is actually older than Marvel Comics; it was published by Fawcett Comics. In the 1950s, DC Comics sued Fawcett because the character was such a big rip-off of Superman. Later on, DC bought the rights to publish the story again.

Thursday, February 25, 2010


In the first Ghostbusters movie, the first ghost they catch is a slimer. He’s a gross, green ghost that eats, but the food passes right through him. Apparently, that small role was very appealing to the people who made The Real Ghostbusters cartoon. They turned a disgusting ghost with a minor role into a disgusting, annoying, irritating ghost with a much larger role. He’s kind of like the Ghostbusters’ pet. As though the cartoon wasn’t bad enough, that character makes it so much more unbearable. Why didn’t they zap him the cartoon? He’s a ghost! It’s their job to get rid of ghosts. What am I missing?

Wednesday, February 24, 2010

He’s with CoCo

My husband was heartbroken when the Tonight Show with Conan O’Brien was cancelled. I was upset too, but I usually could never stay up long enough to watch it.

Ash was worried that the Late Night 10th Anniversary Special DVD would soon become unavailable after Conan got fired, so we bought it. The DVD was released in 2004, and that was before I even started watching Conan. It was fun to watch the recording because it had clips of Conan’s first 10 years, which I had never seen beforehand. The sketches between the clips were funny as well, and Ash particularly liked Jack Black’s musical tribute to Conan. The most horrifying part was Will Ferrell’s skanky leprechaun dance.

Overall, the DVD was enjoyable and earns the Fanboy Wife seal of approval. This is probably the only DVD that I’m going to complain about not having enough bonus features.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Born-Again Captain America

There’s a comic called Captain America Reborn. It’s either chronicles Captain America’s saga after he came back to life or it’s about his conversion to Evangelical Christianity.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Headache on Infinite Earths

Fanboys like having their comic book characters and stories line up perfectly without any conflict. They are pretty dogmatic, and this can be a problem because their beloved characters are owned by corporations who keep using the same characters in many different books for decades. Different authors, illustrators, and editors can muck up the continuity of these stories. In order to try to make all of the stories fit together, they came up with the idea that these superheroes all live in parallel dimensions.

This multiverse got very confusing, and in the 1980s, DC Comics tried to simplify their reality and created the Crisis on Infinite Earths event. The event spread through many titles and had just about every DC character involved.

I don’t think they did their job properly though. They should have killed off all their characters and tried inventing something new instead of continually telling the same stories with the same characters over, and over, and over again.

Sunday, February 21, 2010

Clerks: the Animated Series

The first work by Kevin Smith I ever saw was Clerks: the Animated Series. I watched the only two episodes ever aired, and I was dismayed to discover that it was cancelled before the third week. I thought it was pretty funny, and I remember I was particularly amused because there was a cartoon character named Silent Bob. I had not seen the movie Clerks at the time, and I had never heard of Kevin Smith either. This cartoon isn’t too bad because it’s not necessary to watch anything else by Smith.

Years later, my husband found the entire series on DVD for sale. There were only six episodes made, but they come on a two disc set. All of the episodes have commentary and they are introduced with host segments by Jay and Silent Bob. I didn’t mind this purchase because I thought those two episodes from years ago were amusing.

The cartoon follows Dante and Randal, who work at the Quick Stop and video store respectively. Their nemesis is Leonardo Leonardo and they all live in Leonardo, New Jersey. Jay and Silent Bob sell fireworks and host the “Safety Tips” segments. The series begins with Dante and Randal destroying Leonardo’s competitive convenience store. The second episode tells the story of the two locked in a freezer and having flashbacks. During the third episode, Randal is convinced that Dante has the deadly motaba virus, and Jay Sues Dante in the fourth episode. Dante coaches little league baseball in the fifth episode, and Jay and Silent Bob are on his team. The last episode was called, “The Last Episode Ever” and it begins with the characters at a convention and ends with crazy carnival.

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Superman Secret Society

I only saw the cover of Superman Secret Origin issue 3, which is enough for me to ridicule it. It looks to me that Superman is all grown up and is a newspaper reporter by the third issue. Isn’t this beyond the origin story? He’s already a grownup! He already has his powers, his super suit, and his regular suit. I don’t know how this qualifies as an origin story anymore.

Friday, February 19, 2010

Thursday, February 18, 2010

Spider-Man’s Family

Ash insists that Spider-Man is at his best when he is a student. He either needs to be in high school or college. However, every now and then the people who are in charge of Spider-Man decide to make him older and change his life. Spider-Man actually married Mary Jane, and they had a baby. Of course no one wants to read about Peter Parker’s Spidey-Sense going off for dirty diapers, so his baby disappeared. Even though he is a superhero, he never bothered to look for it. Even though he is a photographer for a newspaper, he ever even posted “missing” posters with a picture of his child.

Spider-Man’s married life was pretty boring too. Spider-Man should be fighting that guy who throws pumpkins, not his wife about whose turn it is to do the dishes. Spider-Man should be battling wits with the man with the robot tentacles; he shouldn’t be arguing about not paying the bills on time. At the very least, Spider-Man should be swinging from buildings, not cleaning out the lint trap.

The people in charge of Spider-Man realized that Peter Parker as a grownup with a mortgage is boring too, so they fixed the problem. A wizard rewound time so Peter Parker was still a “swinging” bachelor. Yes, a wizard sent everyone back in time so Spider-Man could be interesting again.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Cinematic Titanic

There must be a pretty big market for movies that make fun of movies, because Cinematic Titanic is yet another Mystery Science Theater 3000 surrogate. The cast consists of Joel Hodgson, Mary Jo Pehl, Trace Beaulieu, J. Elvis Weinstein, and Frank Conniff. Unlike RiffTrax and The Film Crew, Cinematic Titanic has silhouettes of the cast like MST3K. There are no robots though, and the host segments are in silhouette as well.

My husband likes Cinematic Titanic the best out of the MST3K replacements. This, of course, means that he has to buy every DVD as it is released.

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Seating Kevin

Ash told me that Kevin Smith got kicked off a plane because he was too large to fit in the seat safely. I think Smith usually buys two seats, but for this occasion he only could get one, and the pilot removed him from the flight. I guess Smith’s legion of fanboys is outraged over the news. Personally, I could care less. Now wait, I do care. Good for the airline. I hate it when I don’t get my rightful armrest!

Monday, February 15, 2010

Trimming Boards

My husband compulsively boards and bags his comics in order to carefully preserve them and fill up our bedroom. He spends a small fortune on Mylar bags, which are made out of a special type of plastic that doesn’t discolor. He also buys acid-free boards to keep the bags straight. Unfortunately, he can’t manage to find the perfect size of boards. Ash insists that the only types of boards available are too small or too big. So, he buys boards that are little too big and trims down each and every board to the perfect size. I think this must be another symptom of his fanboyitis.

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Ghost Busted

Silly me. I thought that the Ghostbusters movies, toys, clothing, and cartoon series was it. Oh no, I was so wrong. My husband has comic book about the Ghostbusters called Ghost Busted. It must not have been that great because I haven’t heard his lecture on it yet.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

Young Justice

The Young Justice books chronicle the adventures of young superheroes. The team includes Robin, who is Batman’s young best friend. Superboy is little Superman. Impulse is teenage Flash. Arrowette is the skinny, underdressed blonde. Wonder Girl must be the “smart one” because she’s wearing glasses. Secret makes deodorant. Finally, Roy is the elderly mentor who dispels homespun wisdom.

Friday, February 12, 2010

Taste the Beast

Because my husband loved the movie I Love You, Man, he bought the movie Role Models because it has the same guy in it. It’s not the guy from How I Met Your Mother, but it was the other actor. (It really annoys my husband when I don’t bother to learn actors’ names, so I don’t make much of an effort at all. I’m terrible; I know.)

Aside from all the fascination with breasts, this movie wasn’t too terrible. It begins with two men who sell energy drinks as a living. One man tells students to drink the energy drinks, and the other, dressed as a Minotaur, yells, “Taste the beast!” They get in trouble with the law, and instead of going to jail they agree to be mentors. The Minotaur gets a very troubled little boy to mentor, and the other guy is the role model for a nerdy teenager. The nerdy teenager is antisocial, wears a cape, and plays a Renaissance faire fighting game. In the end, everyone unleashes their inner geeks and plays the fighting game.

I would accuse my husband of identifying with the dorky teenager, but he has always hated Renaissance festivals. At least I have that comfort.

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Superman Secret Deodorant

I didn’t get a chance to flip through the second issue of Superman Secret Origin because my husband picked up all his comics after he caught me photographing them. From the cover, it looks like Superman gets to play with the Legion of Super-Heroes. At least Saturn Girl is wearing some clothing in this issue!

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Human Proportions in Comics

Warning: Today features an open letter to comic book illustrators that discusses the female form. It also contains a nude drawing. If this subject makes you uncomfortable, you may want to skip today.

Dear Comic Book Illustrators,

I highly recommend that you take a figure drawing class at your local college or art museum. You will learn about the human skeletal system, musculature, and the skin that covers it all. Most importantly, you will learn about proportion. The reason I suggest this is because it appears to me that you really need to work on drawing the female form.

Yes, I know that comic book characters are often exaggerations of regular people, but why on Earth do you always have to exaggerate your female characters’ breasts? First of all, I’d like to point out that breasts are not perfect spheres. If they were, how the heck would they attach to the body? I know that if you’ve never seen a woman, and your roommate is modeling for you by stuffing cantaloupes down his shirt, you could easily make this mistake. Now, if you’ve already figured out that perfect spheres wouldn’t be able to connect to the human body, you’ll be able to make the next logical step by realizing that breasts are not perfect half spheres either. Take a class and look at some breasts so you know the correct shape.

(Drawing by Fanboy Wife from a figure drawing class.)

You can’t just observe the models’ breasts though because the instructor might think you’re a pervert and because you really need to focus on proportion. Proportion is an extremely important Design Principle. I want you to notice that women do not have breasts as big as their heads. See how the sizes compare to the rest of their bodies. Don’t argue with me and tell me that you don’t need proportion when drawing superheroes because they are supposed to be superhuman. Over exaggerated muscles on a male superhero are not comparable to over exaggerated breasts on a female superhero. Large muscles show his strength, whereas large breasts show something else entirely. Unless you consistently draw all of your male characters with huge testicles, then your argument is not valid.

Additionally, if you’re going to draw very lean and muscular women, you need to understand that they have smaller breasts. Larger women tend to have larger chests. Breast size has a lot to do with body type and body fat. If you’re going to draw a skinny superhero, then stick to it. If you want a female superhero with a large chest, then you need to draw her larger in other areas as well. Besides, you should try to use a variety of body types in your comics according to Scott McCloud’s Making Comics. It helps the viewer tell the characters apart with greater ease.

Seriously, sign up for a class and learn to draw from real models. You need to have these basic skills down before you start exaggerating anyway. It will make you a stronger artist, it will add variety to your characters, and you might just stop alienating potential readers who would like to look at something other than monstrous breasts.

Fanboy Wife

P.S. Women who draw humongous breasts on all of their characters are not exempt from this advice, especially since they should know better since they have female bodies. Really, be a rebel and draw a variety of body types. You might pick up some female fans this way.

Monday, February 8, 2010

Atom Eve

Atom Eve is a new comic that my husband purchased. By looking at the cover, it looks like it’s the story about a pink sex-kitten who fights crime. However, I know that comic covers can be deceiving, and that is true with this story. It’s actually the story about a little girl, which makes the cover even more disturbing. Why would anyone draw a preteen character as this cover artist did?

The story starts off like The Omen. A woman gives birth to a baby that dies, and it is replaced with another baby with strange powers. Instead of being the child of Satan and a dog, Eve’s mother is a mutant-machine-lady and her dad is a scientist.

As Eve grows up, and she realizes she has the power to change objects she doesn’t care for into things she likes. Unlike Damien though, Eve decides to use her powers to fight crime instead of killing off nannies. Eve eventually kills all of her biological siblings, who are evil mutants, and then she meets her real parents. Her mother is hooked up to a machine by some villains in order to pump out super-babies, and then she is murdered. Eve’s dad, the scientist, is also killed. Eve gets even and kills everyone else, and then the story ends when she returns home to her unappreciative legal parents.

Sunday, February 7, 2010


I guess the Wolf-Man story is about a boy who got bit by a radioactive wolf. Regular werewolves are too predictable.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Stroking my Ego

I noticed that my blog was mentioned on SciFi Scanner blog for my complaints about how artists distort human anatomy, which is awesome. Additionally, according to Snell from Slay, the Monstrobot of Deep!, I have one of the “Comic Blogs that Don’t Suck.” I also got a link from Tom McLean’s Boards and Bags blog, which only encourages me further!

Savage Dragon

My husband adores Savage Dragon. He even got one of his letters published in the letters page in the back of the book. He was so proud!

Savage Dragon is a lizard-man who landed on Earth naked with amnesia. He has a fin on his head, super-strength, and he can regenerate limbs. Even though he’s a reptile, he has hair on his arms. He’s also a cop. Savage Dragon had a girlfriend who was pretty much naked, but her clothing stayed in place due to static electricity.

If I recall correctly, Savage Dragon got married, had a kid, and his wife was sucked into a parallel dimension leaving S.D. a single parent. I think he also has a younger clone of himself to raise as his own. There’s a lot of drama in Mr. Dragon’s life, but I can’t remember all the details. It’s been awhile since my husband has talked about S. D., so I can’t recall all the details.

Friday, February 5, 2010

Superman Again

When I went to Egypt in 2006, I wore light-colored, cotton clothing. One of my t-shirts happened to have Superman on it. (I remember that the only reason I bought it was because it was light gray and only cost $3.) Anyway, while on a tour of an ancient temple, a fanboy from the UK saw my shirt and started asking me about the new Superman movie. I had no idea that there was going to be a new film, and I had never even seen the old ones. I was really surprised by the conversation in the first place because who on Earth wants to talk about superheroes when he’s in an awesome ancient Egyptian temple?

When I got home from Egypt, I asked Ash if he had heard of the movie. If my memory serves me right, he did say he heard about it but he heard it was going to be terrible. It must not have been that awful because my husband owns the Superman Returns DVD. At least he’s never made me watch it.

Thursday, February 4, 2010


For anyone else who is saddened by the lack of Mystery Science Theater 3000 in their lives, there’s RiffTrax. It’s an okay substitute, and MST3K fans will take what they can get. There are no host segments or silhouettes, but it has the same comedy and tone as the show.

RiffTrax are commentaries made by Michael J. Nelson, but sometimes Bill Corbett and Kevin Murphy collaborate. They’re mostly audio files that can be purchased and downloaded from the RiffTrax website, which are able to be synched up with movies people already own. Ash has purchased these as well as DVDs from them. Fortunately, we don’t have a lot of the movies they make fun of, so we do not have a huge collection of RiffTrax DVDs and commentaries.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Gay foa Justige

My husband, who knows I’m picky about typography, showed me the cover of one his comics and asked me to read it. I told him I thought it said, “Justice League Cry for Justice.” That was correct, and I asked him why he wanted my opinion. He told me that he was listening to a podcast called CGS and the hosts kept calling the book “Gay for Justice.” They claimed that the text was written so poorly that it really looked like “gay” instead of “cry.” The hosts continued to refer to the book as “Gay for Justice” throughout the duration of the podcast, which irritated and offended my husband.

Usually, in bad typography, “G” sometimes looks like a “C” when the hook is indiscernible. I haven’t seen it the other way around nearly as often. The “R” could have been mistaken for an “A,” except there is another “R” in the title in the exact same font. I’ll only accept the argument that “cry” looks like “gay” if they think that “for” looks like “foa,” which isn’t a real word. There is also another “c” in “justice.” So, those podcasters must really think the book is called “Gay foa Justige,” or they are immature and just wanted to say the word “gay” a lot on the internet.

Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Monday, February 1, 2010

The Real Ghostbusters Cartoon

When my husband was a little kid, he loved Ghostbusters. His parents made the mistake of recording it off television for him once. This caused him to want the toys and watch the cartoon. The cartoon is kind of like the movies – it has four guys in jumpsuits with backpacks that suck up ghosts. In the cartoon, the jumpsuits are all different colors to encourage children to want more toys. Any of the equipment that was featured on the show was available for sale.

When the cartoon was made available on DVD, my husband got suckered in and bought the overpriced boxed set. The case looks like the firehouse, and all of the DVDs are in metal cases. I really don’t know why the cases are metal – I guess I’ll have to look it up in Tobin’s Spirit Guide to see if I can find the answer. I bet it has to do with squeezing more money out of fanboys.