Thursday, February 18, 2010

Spider-Man’s Family

Ash insists that Spider-Man is at his best when he is a student. He either needs to be in high school or college. However, every now and then the people who are in charge of Spider-Man decide to make him older and change his life. Spider-Man actually married Mary Jane, and they had a baby. Of course no one wants to read about Peter Parker’s Spidey-Sense going off for dirty diapers, so his baby disappeared. Even though he is a superhero, he never bothered to look for it. Even though he is a photographer for a newspaper, he ever even posted “missing” posters with a picture of his child.

Spider-Man’s married life was pretty boring too. Spider-Man should be fighting that guy who throws pumpkins, not his wife about whose turn it is to do the dishes. Spider-Man should be battling wits with the man with the robot tentacles; he shouldn’t be arguing about not paying the bills on time. At the very least, Spider-Man should be swinging from buildings, not cleaning out the lint trap.

The people in charge of Spider-Man realized that Peter Parker as a grownup with a mortgage is boring too, so they fixed the problem. A wizard rewound time so Peter Parker was still a “swinging” bachelor. Yes, a wizard sent everyone back in time so Spider-Man could be interesting again.


  1. Your explanation for what happened is actually smarter than the one Marvel came up with - have you ever thought about writing comics for a living?

  2. No, I couldn’t. That would be sacrilege.

  3. I don't know. I liked married Spider-Man. Peter Parker was aged pretty fast by Stan Lee back in the day. It wasn't until fans started writing the comics that the notion of Spidey working best as a kid came about.

    But I agree with Rol. Your solution for unmarrying him is a site better than what Marvel came up with.