Monday, May 31, 2010

Talking Heads

Ash loves owning complete collections, and if he has the choice between buying one item or a boxed set he is always going to buy the collection. He recently purchased the Talking Heads Brick. This Talking Heads boxed set contains 8 CDs. He swears he got a good deal on it, and for a while he would only listen to Talking Heads music, but now it is sitting in a pile collecting dust.

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Another Superhero T-Shirt

I tried to play “Name that Hero” with this t-shirt Ash bought. It didn’t go so well. I only guessed Iron Man correct, and Ash was mad because I kept poking him.

Saturday, May 29, 2010

Mystery Packages

Over a week ago, I came home to find a package “cleverly” hid under our doormat. It was for Ash – big surprise. Then, when he came home from work and checked the mail, there was another package for him. A little bit later, a third package arrived that same day. All three were from the same shipper, and all three of them contained a horror that I am just now able to talk about without getting too depressed.

Apparently after “watching” a few episodes of Doctor Who, Ash decided that he loves it and had to drain his bank account on all of the DVD boxed sets he could find. Inexplicably, this recent binge of his happened to coincide with the fact that he finished watching all of his Red Dwarf seasons.

Friday, May 28, 2010

I am the Smartest Man Alive

In addition to the science fiction and superhero movies that Ash collects, he has been adding to his Adam Sandler collection. We now have a copy of Billy Madison, which is the tale of a spoiled idiot who has to go through school from kindergarten to graduation in order to inherit the family business.

Ash has fond memories of watching this movie in shop class on the last day of school, and I probably also watched it in shop in junior high, but I just don’t recall. I do know that I saw it on television years ago, and that was good enough for me.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Red Dip Season Three

Even though I know Ash has watched through his Red Dwarf boxed set at least twice, I somehow managed to miss most of season three. I can only recall seeing part of one episode. In that episode, the robot is developing photos the old fashioned way, and after the film develops it comes alive. The crew decides to project the photographs, and then they jump into the scene. I think I got bored and wandered off before it ended, so I don’t even remember how it concluded. I bet they got in some crazy antics and all was well before the credits rolled.

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

First Issues

Fanboys just love first issue comics, and Ash is no exception. When he is ordering his comics, he’ll buy first issue comics just because they’re available. Most people like them because they think that they will be valuable someday, like the comics from the early 20th century. However, most people forget that the reason those old comics are so valuable is because they are so rare. The reason they are so rare is because people used to read comics and throw them away because they were an ephemeral medium. (I wish that was still true today.)

Monday, May 24, 2010

Office Space

I believe owning a copy of Office Space is required for all fanboys and anyone who has ever had to work in an office. I was a secretary for a few years, and there were many days when I wanted to take the copy machine out into a field and beat it with a baseball bat!

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Bizarro Superman

Since Superman is such a commercial success, there are many, many types of Supermen. There is the original Superman, Superboy, Superbaby, Superpets, Supergirl, Power Girl, and Superboy Prime just to mention a few. Bizarro Superman is another Super-spinoff to add to the collection. Bizarro is a clone gone wrong who’s super-strong yet super-dim.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Red Dork Season Two

Because my husband can’t just buy television shows one season at a time, he buys the entire series all at once. He doesn’t even know if he will like all the shows, but he has that urge to own entire collections. This is why he owns all of the Red Dwarf DVDs.
The second year of Red Dwarf has a bunch of episodes about the slob, the hologram, the cat, and the computer. The season begins with the crew meeting a robo-butler named Kryten, who was taking care of a bunch of skeletons. In another episode, the crew finds a 3 million year old bag of mail, but I didn’t watch the entire show so I can’t go into details about it. The only other episode I watched from this season with Ash was the one when Holly, the computer, played a trick on the crew. He made an alternative computer that took over the ship as Holly feigned incompetence. The new computer made Lister and Cat clean the ship and tormented Rimmer the hologram.

Friday, May 21, 2010

Shaun of the Dead

Even though the Evil Dead movies are my favorite movies that have reanimated corpses, Shaun of the Dead isn’t too bad. Ash loves the [Blank] of the Living Dead movies, even the one when the zombies are in the mall, and so I’ve seen them all. Compared to the more serious zombie films, Shaun of the Dead is quite tolerable.

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Spike the Punch

Out of all of Buffy’s demon boyfriends, I think Ash likes Spike the best. A few years ago, Ash changed the background of his work computer to display a photomontage of Spike. I, of course, had no choice but to sneak into his office and change his desktop by drawing little pink hearts around each of photos of Spike. My husband wasn’t too pleased and he didn’t let me use his work computer any more after that.

Anyway, Spike is yet another vampire on Buffy, the Vampire Slayer that Buffy dated. At first, though, they were mortal enemies. Spike was a Billy Idol vampire with a crazy vampire girlfriend named Drusilla, and the pair set up camp in Buffy’s hometown to wreak havoc. Buffy beat them up and they left town. Spike kept coming back, and after Drusilla left him, he started to stalk Buffy. At one point he even built a robo-Buffy, which was extremely creepy.
Spike was also used for government experiments, and a computer chip was put in his brain so he couldn’t harm humans. Because he was full of violence, he started to take his aggressions out on other demons and helped Buffy and her sidekicks. All the while, he was still infatuated with Buffy. In one of the later seasons, Buffy died and came back from the dead. When she came back, Spike became her vampire with benefits. Then, at one point he got his soul back, but it made him crazy. He then went on to guest-star on Angel.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Star Trek Season Two

The second season of Star Trek is just as cheesy as the first, and Captain Kirk is Shat-tastic as usual. This is the season with the famed “Trouble with Tribbles” episode. It’s been a while since Ash was on a Star Trek bender, so I don’t remember too much about this season. I think there was a show when the God Apollo wanted them to worship him in return for giving them a blissful life, which they refused for some reason. Other episodes include robots, fights, and even an alien belly dancer! The only good that came out of watching this season is that I now get more of the MST3K jokes that spoof Star Trek.

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Totally Awesome Wedding Singer

Ash has been on an Adam Sandler kick lately and came home with a pile of Sandler movies. His favorite is The Wedding Singer. He had it on VHS, but I think it finally died, so he got the “Totally Awesome Addition” on DVD. Ash’s dream is to sing “Love Stinks” at someone’s wedding.

Monday, May 17, 2010

Pre-Op Power Girl

(Drawing by Curt Swan.)
Ash showed me a comic illustrated by Curt Swan in 1983. He wanted to show me what Power Girl’s costume used to look like before the strange cleavage cutout. Not only was her costume slightly more conservative, but it was nice to see Power Girl before she got her breast implants.

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Doctor Who Cares

After Ash watched all of his Red Dwarf DVDs, he felt the need to rekindle his love of Doctor Who. So, instead of watching it for free on PBS, he had to buy Doctor Who: The Complete Specials. There are a few episodes on the disks, but most of the content includes bonus features. Fortunately for me, Ash watched the majority of the videos while I wasn’t at home.

Saturday, May 15, 2010

An Oracle that Doesn’t Predict the Future

Oracle is Barbara Gordon, who was once Batgirl. She was shot by the Joker, and now she is wheelchair bound. Even though her name is “Oracle” is not psychic. I guess she can hack into computers, but I have no idea what her name has to do with her superpowers.
Oracle runs the Birds of Prey, which is home to the wayward and forgotten female superheroes and sidekicks of Gotham City. I heard Power Girl was part of the team for an issue or two, but she left because couldn’t do the double toe touch during the auditions and kept dropping her pompoms.

Friday, May 14, 2010

Trashing Comics

Normally when I come home from a long day of work and Ash has had the day off, I would be livid to see the apartment in disarray and the garbage overflowing. However, after seeing the contents of the trash, I was more willing to forgive Ash for his untidiness.

Even though the X-Men comic he threw away was free, I’ll take it as a small victory.

Thursday, May 13, 2010


One day when Ash and I were coming home from running errands we noticed that a movie rental place was having a going-out-of-business sale. Since Ash loves collecting movies, we had to stop. We got a big pile of movies for fairly cheap, and while we were checking out the cashier said that we could get one more movie for free. Ash grabbed one close to counter because it had David Duchovny’s face on the cover.
The movie is called The Secret, but neither of us had ever heard of it. I read the back of the case on the ride home, and it sounds pretty horrifying. The plot is that David Duchovny’s dead wife possesses their teenage daughter and Duchovny rekindles their love. Who on Earth thought this would be a good idea for a movie? Thank goodness this DVD is still in its wrapping!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Flashy Ring

Ash was so excited when his latest package of comics arrived! I was less enthused, but that’s not a surprise. Not only did Ash get his usual stack of comics, but he got two new rings. In addition to his 8 plastic Lantern rings, he received a second Green Lantern ring and a Flash ring. I guess the Flash keeps his costume inside of ring so he can change in front of innocent bystanders once trouble appears.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Red Doofus Season One

When Ash bought Red Dwarf, he told me that he liked it as a kid and thought it was hilarious. He also said he remembered thinking, “Why isn’t Doctor Who funny too?” Since Ash has Red Dwarf and we only have one television, I get to watch Red Dwarf all the time now.

The show begins with the Red Dwarf space ship flying around with a big crew, a floating computer head, and a hologram that has an “H” stuck to his forehead. There are two incompetent crew members named Lister and Rimmer. Rimmer is the truly incompetent one, and Lister is a lazy slob. Lister also has a smuggled cat on board, which gets him in trouble. For his punishment, Lister is thrown in a time-freeze jail. While Lister is in stasis, Rimmer accidentally causes an explosion that kills everyone onboard except for Lister, who is frozen, and Lister’s cat, which just had kittens.

Three million years later, the computer lets Lister out of the jail when the radiation is gone. To keep him from being lonely since everyone else is dead, the computer brings Rimmer back to “life” as a hologram. They also encounter one of the descendants of Lister’s cat from 3 million years ago. Cat is a narcissistic humanoid with pointy teeth and loud suits. Together, the human, hologram, computer, and cat go on adventures through space.

Monday, May 10, 2010

Undeclared and Uninteresting

Because Ash needs to have complete collections, he bought the show Undeclared because it was made by the same people that made Freaks and Geeks and Seth Rogen is in it. I tried to watch an episode or two with him, but I just kept finding more interesting things to do – like cleaning the bathroom or doing the laundry. This show is about uninteresting college students that want to sleep with each other or something. I really don’t know. I think it was supposed to be funny.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Iron Man 2: Electric Boogaloo

Ash and I used to go to the movies a lot when we were dating. There was a theatre in the next town over from where we grew up where tickets were only $4. There was also a drive-in during the summer that showed two movies for $5. We went to the movies almost every single weekend when we were in high school. In college, we didn’t go to the cinema very often because it cost more in that town and we had less money. However, we did see a lot of matinees during the summer because they weren’t too expensive and there was no air conditioning on campus.

In our current town, movies are $9. A weekday matinee at 1:00 in the afternoon is still $7. Even though we now both have grownup jobs, we still can’t afford to spend that much on one movie - especially considering that it will be cheaper to buy the DVD in a few months anyway! The last movie Ash took me to was Star Trek, and before that we saw Clerks II. The last movie I saw before that was Serenity. Now, going to the movies costs way too much and isn’t all that enjoyable for me.

So, this weekend Ash told me, “I know two people who are going to see Iron Man 2 tonight.” I asked him, “Who?” expecting him to tell me the names of two friends. Unfortunately for me, he meant us. Thankfully, Ash didn’t wear his new Iron Man t-shirt to the film. (Instead, he wore a Flash shirt.) I also got him to leave his new Iron Man hat at home because it’s rude to wear a hat in the movie theater.

The movie theater was packed. There were a lot lonely looking adult men, screaming children, and a few teenage boys. There were a few moms too, but they let their children run free as I see a lot of mothers do more and more often. As I hypothesized before, Ash only likes comic book movies that are based on comics that he doesn’t obsessively collect. After seeing Iron Man 2, I think I might be able to prove the Iron Man Hypothesis correct. Ash really enjoyed this movie. He liked the guy with the electric whips, the robots, and Samuel L. Jackson, which goes without saying. What amused me the most is that Ash’s willing suspension of disbelief drew the line when the chauffer was driving down the racetrack in a regular car the wrong way. He was okay with the battery-powered-heart, the flying suits, and that the new female character could walk in those shoes without tipping over constantly, but the racing scene is when he said, “No way!”

Since Ash is a fanboy, he knew ahead of time that we couldn’t leave the theater with 95% of the other patrons once the credits started rolling. So, Ash and I sat in the theater with about a dozen other grown men in super-apparel waiting for the “bonus” clip at the end. I asked him if we were going to get to see Scully in a bikini again, and he shushed me. We had to sit through 3 hours of credits in order to get to the end bit. It wasn’t a really big surprise to find out that there were more graphic artists who worked on the movie than directors, but it was kind of boring. The movie itself was 2 hours! Anyway, here’s the spoiler: at the end of the movie a guy in the desert finds a hammer. I guess the desert was in Norway because the hammer is supposed to belong to Thor, who is apparently a superhero and not a God.

Saturday, May 8, 2010

Iron Shirt

Even though Ash usually dislikes comic movies (because he has the unrealistic expectation that a 2-hour movie is going to include all of the character developments and nuances found in years of issues of comic books), he is excited to see the second Iron Man movie. He really enjoyed the first one, and in anticipation of this film he is starting collect Iron Man apparel. I really hope that if he drags me to the theater to see Iron Man 2 he will at least have the decency not to wear his Iron Man t-shirt.

Friday, May 7, 2010

The Tick New Series Issue One

Sometimes when Ash goes on a fanboy-binge and buys lots of unnecessary things for himself, he will feel a guilty and buy something for me. So, the last time he dropped $50 at the local comic store, he picked up an issue of The Tick New Series for me. Personally, I’d just rather have the $5, but fanboys are strange and don’t understand how money works. (If I really had it my way, I’d rather he save up the money so someday we could move into a house or at least a bigger apartment.)

Issue 1 features the superheroes and sidekicks celebrating Christmas. Tick, Arthur, the Man-Eating Cow, and even Super Pilgrim are present. The superheroes have a gift exchange, and they all want a mysterious present with skull wrapping paper. The sidekicks have their own party while Arthur tells stories from past Christmases, including a tale when Chairface urinates his name in the snow. Even the crazy, naked ex-Tick makes an appearance, and he steals a gift intended for the beloved Tick.

Even though I like the Tick, my life wasn’t further enriched by this new comic. Despite Benito Cereno’s plea in the back of the book to “buy copies like it’s 1993,” I don’t plan on buying any for myself. Actually, I will buy as many The Tick comics for myself this year as I did in 1993, which was zero.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Supergirl Goes to the Doctor

Supergirl #49 tells the story about how Supergirl finally goes to have that weird mole checked out by a doctor. She starts to think that absorbing all the powers from the yellow sun might have some negative side effects. Unfortunately for her, the bill is astronomical because her job as a superhero doesn’t come with health insurance.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Unfunny People

Thanks to Ash’s Seth Rogen fetish, he bought Funny People. This movie takes about 20 minutes of jokes and stretches it out into an 8 hour long film. Seth Rogen is a struggling standup comedian who meets Adam Sandler, who is a successful comedian with a terminal illness. Rogen becomes Sandler’s best friend and writes some jokes for him. Sandler gets healthy and reconnects with an old girlfriend and almost convinces her to leave her husband and two children, but her husband beats the crap out of him. That part was kind of funny. Sandler and Rogen break up, and Rogen has to work at a deli.

In the end, Sandler and Rogen are friends again they live happily ever after, I think.

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Blackest X-Men

I guess the X-Men are jealous of the Blackest Night hubbub, so there’s a comic called Dark X-Men. It looks all spooky and scary like the Blackest Night comics.

Monday, May 3, 2010

Red Dweeb

Last weekend, Ash and I stayed up late so Ash could watch Doctor Who like a proper geek. Unfortunately for me, he kept falling asleep and every time I tried to change the channel he’d wake up yelling, “Hey! I’m watching that!” So, I got to watch and episode about some aliens that did some stuff and see Doctor Who save the day.

The next day Ash insisted that he really truly likes Doctor Who, even though he never watches it. He then decided that he liked the old episodes that were made before he was born that he has never seen. I think he started to buy the individual episodes online, but he kept falling asleep trying to watch them. I don’t know why he needed to pay for the episodes just to fall asleep when he is able to “watch” them for free on PBS, but I think wasting money is a symptom of his fanboyitis.

Anyway, Ash then remembered that he didn’t like Doctor Who at all – it was Red Dwarf he liked watching as a kid! So, a few days later Ash is now the proud owner of a big boxed set of Red Dwarf.

Sunday, May 2, 2010

Fanboy Wife Dao

In Daoism, there is a belief that there is flow to the universe. Some things are negative and some things are positive. These things aren’t really good or evil, but they all keep flowing. Negative things are replaced by good, and the universe keeps moving.

I recently realized there is a Dao for fanboys and their ever suffering significant others. This is called Fanboy Wife Dao. Last year on Free Comic Book Day, I had to wait in line for hours to get my husband some extra free comics. He had something positive and I had something negative. This year, the flow of the universe switched.

About a week ago, Ash’s car quit working, so he has either had to walk to work or I would drive him on my way to or from work. While this could have been seen as a bad thing, it’s not permanent. Now, Free Comic Book Day is always on a Saturday, but Ash often has to work weekends. Thanks to the Fanboy Wife Dao, he was scheduled to work on his most holy of fanboy holidays. Additionally, he took the car, which left me with no means of transportation, thus making it impossible for me to go across town to go get him any fanboy loot.

While I am relieved that I didn’t have to partake in the “festivities” this year, I know better than to celebrate because I know this victory is ephemeral.

Saturday, May 1, 2010

Lantern Pins

A few weeks ago, I left Ash alone for the weekend while I was out of town. When I came home, he didn’t ask me how my trip was or if I missed him, instead he had to show off all of his new fanboy purchases! When Ash is bored and lacks adult supervision, he buys things online and ventures out to the local comic books stores and spends money irresponsibly.

This time, he bought all of the Lantern pins. I guess the rings weren’t enough. I’m kind of afraid to see what’s next.