Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Doom Patrol and Legion of Super-Heroes

Ash, my nerd-in-residence, was quite excited when he got a comic that has Doom Patrol and the Legion of Super-Heroes in it. He has an unhealthy fixation with the Legion of Super-Heroes, which he admits is geeky even among other fanboys. Apparently, not all comic book fans adore the Legion as much as Ash does.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Monday, June 28, 2010

Red Dumbass Season Seven

I was spared from watching any of the episodes in the seventh season of Red Dwarf, but that didn’t prevent Ash from telling me about what happened. I think the cast discover an alternative reality in which Lister died and his girlfriend (the girl he kind of knew and has been pining over since the first episode) was the one put in stasis. She was kept company by a Lister hologram, which she liked. I don’t think that she liked the real Lister very much though. Ash also said that Lister lost his arm. I wonder where he left it.

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Flashes and Green Lanterns

If there is anything with the Flash in it, Ash loves it. If there is anything with two Flashes, it’s even better. Throw in a couple of Green Lanterns, and Ash is in Fanboy-Utopia! Ash was extremely excited to get the Justice on Two Worlds comic because it features spandex Flash and Green Lantern as well as their old-timey counterparts.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

Black Canary

Ash has been talking about the Green Arrow a lot lately. From his lengthy monologues, I have now learned that Black Canary is Green Arrow’s on-and-off girlfriend.

Friday, June 25, 2010

Super White Shirt

Superman has a very iconic costume; he’s dressed in skintight primary colors. He wears his red undies on the outside of his blue tights. He has a red and yellow “S” emblem on his chest (so no one confuses him with Batman). He also wears red booties that match his big, red cape. Since Superman is a very in-demand superhero, and he needs to keep his identity a secret, he wears his costume under his human work clothes.

My concern is how Superman tucks his cape under his clothes. I don’t believe he can wear a cape under his suit without anyone noticing because he would have a very lumpy butt. Ash also thinks it’s preposterous that Superman could wear his super-suit under his clothes but for different reasons. Ash, who wears a dress shirt and tie on an almost daily basis, says that there isn’t a white shirt in the world that is opaque enough to hide the ostentatious “S” on Superman’s chest. Perhaps no one notices the brightly colored shirt under Superman’s dress shirt because everyone is distracted by his clever glasses?

Thursday, June 24, 2010


Many of my friends are aware of Ash’s fanboyitis and share their sympathies with me. Some of my friends, however, are evil and enable my husband. A friend of mine recently came across a Hawkman (his head’s a hawk) book and just had to give it to him because they knew he would treasure it.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Dr. Who’s on First

Since Ash is on a Doctor Who bender, all we can ever talk about is the Doctor. I told him I wish there was an “Abbott and Costello Meet the Doctor” sketch, but he doesn’t think I’m funny. However, I think I am, so now I will present “Doctor Who’s on First.”

Fanboy Wife: What are you watching?
Ash: The Doctor.
Fanboy Wife: Doctor who?
Ash: Exactly.
Fanboy Wife: So, you’re watching Doctor Exactly?
Ash: No.
Fanboy Wife: Then, what are you watching?
Ash: The Doctor.
Fanboy Wife: Doctor who?
Ash: Yes.
Fanboy Wife: So the show is called Doctor Yes? Isn’t that a James Bond character?
Ash: That’s Doctor No.
Fanboy Wife: But, what are you watching?
Ash: I’m watching Doctor Who.
Fanboy Wife: That’s what I’ve been asking!
Ash: Doctor Who!
Fanboy Wife: I don’t know!
Ash and Fanboy Wife: Third base!

Monday, June 21, 2010

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Simpsons Comic

When I was a kid, I wasn’t allowed to watch The Simpsons. I could only watch it if my parents weren’t home from work yet, and I was ready to flip the channel to the news so I wouldn’t get in trouble. So, I never really watched it until I was in college. During my sophomore year, I watched The Simpsons every Wednesday night before going to class because I knew the professor was always going to be late. If I stayed in my dorm until the show ended, then I knew I could still walk to class and arrive before the instructor.

Even though The Simpsons have been on the air for the last hundred years, only half a dozen episodes are ever shown. I can only watch the same episode so many times in a week. I quit watching the cartoon again until this last year, but they’re still only showing the same few episodes. There was one week when the TV station showed the same episode two days in a row!

To make matters worse, there is a Simpsons comic. Judging by the issue number, it has been around for a while. I guess if I get tired of watching the same show over and over again, I can just read the same issue every week.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

Creepy Comics

On the cover of Creepy it states, “Curses, gore, and more in this killer issue!” Now, who says that comics aren’t for children anymore?

Friday, June 18, 2010

Savage Dragon’s Amnesia

So, Savage Dragon is a big, green guy with a fin that works among humans. He was from another planet, but one day he landed on Earth with amnesia. Savage Dragon worked to become a cop and contributed to society in a positive way.

Ash adores Savage Dragon, and he prides himself on the fact that he once got a letter published in the back of the book. Ash also likes to tell me about Savage Dragon. One of the things that recently happened in these comics was the reveal that Savage Dragon used to be a big, tyrant alien. The other finned aliens hated him so much they wiped his memory and dumped him naked on Earth. However, Mr. Dragon recovered his memory and he’s a big ogre again.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Marvel Pajama Pants

For some reason, when Ash is at home, he has to be wearing some sort of comic apparel at all time. On days when he tires of comic t-shirts, he now has Marvel pajama pants to wear.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Doctor Who, M.D.

Ash is obsessed with Doctor Who, even though he falls asleep all the time watching it. Perhaps while he is sleeping he is dreaming that the show has interesting story lines and good special effects.

Anyway, in Doctor Who the Doctor is the main character. The Doctor is a time-lord, which is a near immortal alien that has two hearts. He can live for thousands of years, and he travels through time and space in a blue phone booth.

The Doctor is so old he has his origins in radio, but then he transferred to television. Doctor Who ran for ages in the late 20th century, and then it was revived again more recently. Obviously with such a long running show, the same actor hasn’t been playing the Doctor all this time. Instead, Doctor Who can regenerate. When he’s near death, he gets changed into a different actor. The first Doctor that I’ve seen is Old Man Doctor Austin Powers. This Doctor has gray hair and a ruffled shirt. He’s very groovy.

The next Doctor is Doctor Scarf. Ash loves this one the most and wants his own mile-long scarf, even though he hates being warm. Doctor Scarf is very tall, has frizzy hair, and he has a giant scarf. Ash said that the trademark scarf was a fluke. He said that the costuming person was given a bunch of yarn and told to make a scarf. Her bosses assumed that she would just take what she needed and make a normal scarf, but she thought the directions were to use all of the yarn.

After a long break when Doctor Who wasn’t on the air, there was another doctor with a leather coat. He was only the Doctor for a short while. After he regenerated, he became Doctor Bug Eyes. Ash likes this actor because he has a very expressive face. Now, the show is on the most recent Doctor. I had to watch the bonus feature that documented the scene when Doctor Bug Eyes was set on fire, but I haven’t had to watch any of the most recent Doctor Who episodes.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Drinking Spirits

To prepare himself to hate any additional future movie adaptations of The Spirit, Ash has started reading the comics. He likes the new comic, so according to the Ironman Hypothesis he will hate any of the movies inspired by the text.

Monday, June 14, 2010


Renaissance Festivals are one of the few nerdy things that I like that my husband abhors. The first time I went to one was when I was in junior high. I went again when I was in high school, and then I worked at one for a season my senior year. In college, I started attending a different Renaissance Festival annually. Now, I live within driving distance of quite a few festivals, but I do I have the restraint not to visit all of them every year.

I think the reason I like them is because I get to play dress-up and watch unusual comedy acts. My absolute favorite act is Puke and Snot. I also enjoy watching the belly dancers and jousters. I also can’t resist the food, and it’s always fun to lock friends in the stocks.

I recently travelled to a Renaissance Festival and had a good time; however, I did see something surprising. I usually see a few patrons dressed completely inappropriately, but that’s sort of expected. Sometimes it’s a princess wearing modern, glitterdot fabric and tennis shoes. Other times I have to endure the unattractive women in the chainmail bikinis. Once I saw a man with a smiley face codpiece!

This year I saw something new. I saw a Star Wars character at the Renaissance Festival. I don’t know what character he was, but I knew it was Star Wars because of his plastic light saber. He was in all black and had red and black face paint. Perhaps he used the force to travel back in time to see Queen Elizabeth I?

Regardless of why he was there, he really must have enjoyed the attention. He stood there for at least a half an hour with his back turned to the show, near the trash cans, staring down everyone passing by. I walked past him a few times because the food vendors were on one side of that area and there was shopping on the other, and I had to cross back again to get to a show I wanted to see. I swear I overheard him complain to his uncomfortable looking lady-friend about how everyone kept giving him funny looks.

Sunday, June 13, 2010

“Cute” Secret Six Cover

When Ash was going through his recent loot he had to show me the latest Secret Six comic. He said, “Isn’t it cute? Look at the little Cat-Man voodoo doll!”

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Buffy’s Ode to Cyclops

Ash was giddy to get the recent Buffy comic book because it is an homage to an X-Men comic. Instead of Cyclops being ostracized from the other mutants, Buffy is the one making the walk of shame.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Alien Legion on the Bus

When Ash was showing me his loot from his most recent DCBS shipment, he showed me the Alien Legion Omnibus. It seems that this Legion is different from the Legion and L.E.G.I.O.N. I guess that “legion” is a popular word that sells comics, so lots of people like to include it in their titles.

Thursday, June 10, 2010

It’s a Nice Day for a White Lantern

Apparently there are also White Lanterns (in addition to all of the other colors known to humankind). My husband now has the plastic ring. He was so excited when it came in his shipment from DCBS he called me from the other room to see his new toy. I think it was the first thing he unwrapped.
Including his collection of Lantern rings and his Flash ring, he now has more plastic rings than he has fingers.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Wednesday Book

Ash just got his Wednesday Comics hard shell book. It is huge, cumbersome, and it brought back memories of Ash trying to read Wednesday Comics when it first was released. Ash said that he is happy because he won’t have to read those big, crappy newsprint comics. (He’s still angry because Hawkman has a hole in his head.) Instead, he can now read a big, crappy book.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Red Dorkus Season Five

One of the things that I always wondered about Red Dwarf had to do with the opening credits. I couldn’t figure out if the astronaut was washing the ship or painting it. Ash told me that it was supposed to Lister, but he couldn’t tell what he was doing either until about the fifth season. He said that the astronaut is painting the ship.

Monday, June 7, 2010

Belated Free Comic Book Day

Since Ash had to go to work on Free Comic Book Day, he missed out on the local festivities. He wasn’t too upset because he knew that he had his free comics coming in the mail. He finally received them. He got five comics, and he was so excited to show me. I was less thrilled.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

An Open Letter to my Husband

Dear Ash,
I know you love to buy comics, but I am concerned about your financial situation. Here is a short list of things that you need to take care of before you spend any more money on comic books. 
  1. Help pay the bills (these occur every month, by the way)
  2. Fix your car
  3. Replace your lost wedding ring
Fanboy Wife

Saturday, June 5, 2010

Buffy Comics

Not only did Buffy get a movie and television series that lasted 38 years, but there is also a comic featuring the famed Vampire Slayer. Not only did she survive the apocalypse at the end of the TV run, but now she can also fly!

Friday, June 4, 2010

Green Wedding Ring

Sometime last year, Ash lost his wedding ring. He kept telling me that he knew where it was, but it has failed to materialize. Occasionally I will catch him trying to wear his plastic Green Lantern ring as a wedding band substitute.

Let’s just say that I have “lost” my wedding ring too.

Thursday, June 3, 2010

If You're Happy and You Know it

The first time I saw Happy Gilmore was in shop class. For some reason, that teacher was a big Adam Sandler fan, and curriculum be damned – we got to watch Happy Gilmore. Ash recently bought it to add to his Sandler collection.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

Red Dummy Season Four

I think most of episodes I’ve seen of Red Dwarf are from the fourth season. Ash must have been watching them on a day we both had free from work and I had nowhere to which I could escape. This season begins with the crew finding an alien that can transform into anyone’s desire. Kryton, the robot, sees the alien as a fembot, and they fall in loves. Lister and Rimmer both see their fantasy girlfriends, and the Cat sees himself!

Later on, Lister gets turned into a chicken, Rimmer gets in trouble for killing the crew of Red Dwarf, a parallel dimension Rimmer pops by for a visit, and the crew fights Adolf Hitler. The talking toaster is back, even though it is completely different from the first one, but Ash said that this show wasn’t very good at internal consistencies. (I think during the third season the computer changed into a woman.)

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

Superhero Team-ups

One plot that comic publishing companies use in order to get fanboys to spend all of their money is to publish superhero team-ups. A team-up is when various superheroes from various comics all come together in one book. This requires patrons to buy an extra comic and it introduces them to new characters. Most comic nerds won’t be content with just that comic, but they will then be compelled to buy all the comics featuring the other superhero. This helps boost comic sales and prevents fanboys and their families from ever becoming homeowners.