Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Mitosis Cookies

Fanboys like it when science terms are thrown into every day conversation. My husband particularly likes it when I make cookies and we end up with the mitosis cookie. The typical reaction includes saying things such as, “Oh no! I better keep this cookie intact and just each the whole thing!”

Monday, August 30, 2010

Trial of the Time Bored

As Ash was watching Doctor Who: Trial of the Time Lord, he had an epiphany. He realized that The Matrix completely ripped off Doctor Who. I also had a revelation. I now know why The Matrix sucked so hard.

Sunday, August 29, 2010

Saturday, August 28, 2010

The High School Collection

I generally am not entertained by movies about high school. Two of Ash’s movies that advertise they’re in the “High School Reunion Collection” include Sixteen Candles and The Breakfast Club. I’m aware they are 1980s movies about adults pretending to be teenagers, but that’s about it. I don’t remember seeing either of these movies, but Ash likes shows and movies about grownups pretending to be teenagers like Smallville and Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Friday, August 27, 2010


The 14th volume of Mystery Science Theater 3000 is worth the investment. Obviously, this set earns the Fanboy Wife Seal of Approval.
The first movie is Mad Monster with a Commando Cody short. This is one of the first episodes, so it’s forgivable. It’s one of the few episodes with J. Elvis Weinstein in it. (Even though I know he has an important role in MST3K’s history, I like Kevin Murphy better.) The movie is about a mad scientist who makes a werewolf.
The second film is Manhunt in Space, and it’s another Joel episode. The short is General Hospital, which results in a robots playing soap opera for one of the shorts.
Soul Taker is from the 10th season, and it’s a Mike episode. The antagonists include Pearl Forrester and her entourage. The movie is bad, which is a given. It’s about a group of people who have their souls knocked out of their bodies, and they’re being chased by an angel of death. In one of the host segments, a past cast member makes a special appearance as a soul taker.
The last movie in the set is Final Justice, and it’s another turd of a film starring Joe Don Baker. In this movie, Baker is a renegade cowboy or something, and he has to go to Malta. Mike thinks that he gets to escape the Satellite of Love because Joel got to leave during the first Joe Don Baker movie, Mitchell. My favorite part of this movie is when Crow and Tom destroy Goosio, the ambassador from Malta.

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Ash’s Girly Movies

While I tease Ash a lot about his choices in movies, I am probably going to cross a line today. Ash has two horribly girly movies, Pretty in Pink and 13 Going on 30. I don’t think I’ve seen the former and I know I couldn’t sit through the latter.
Ash was watching 13 Going on 30 once when I was home, and I tried to watch it with him, but I couldn’t. I got bored and wandered away, but I think I grasped the plot before I left. It’s a movie about a 13 year old, who wants to be 30, and she magically wakes up in the future and she’s 30. The premise of the plot it kind of odd because I know of many women who are perpetually 29 because they are afraid of thirty. Even my own mother says she’s still 29!

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

What’s your Vector, Victor?

The best thing about the movie Airplane! is that there are many quotes that are funny to slip into everyday conversation.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Fanboy Man

Here a new superhero that I hope will pick up on popularity soon: Fanboy Man! His superpowers include spending money on comics faster than a locomotive and being able to leap over long boxes in a single bound. Even though he has many weaknesses, pointing out inconsistencies in regard to other superheroes will stun him!

Sunday, August 22, 2010

Paper Heart

I know I watched the movie Paper Heart with Ash awhile ago, but I don’t remember a lot about it. I know that the girl in it was in a movie with the loathsome Seth Rogen. It has something to do with her trying to find love (I think).

Saturday, August 21, 2010

Snack Break

Since I am always writing about my husband, I thought I would share this photo of his monster deep dish pizza. Because he has fanboyitis, he goes all out on everything in his life. He can’t just eat inferior frozen pizza. Instead, he has to make the mega pizza. It may look like a normal one, but that is just the top layer. Underneath the top layer, there is another 2” of pizza, which is more like lasagna that has pizza crust instead of noodles.

Friday, August 20, 2010

Nurse Who

Even though the Doctor is the star of Doctor Who, there are many other characters that reoccur. The Doctor is always accompanied by a companion or two so he doesn’t get lonely. Usually, it’s a young woman in a low-cut costume. On one of the bonus features of a Doctor Who DVD, they explained that the reason one of the women had to wear a low-cut top was because her character was there “for the dads.”

Thursday, August 19, 2010

Reason #812 Why I Don’t Read Comics

I don’t like reading comics because I get annoyed at the random emphasis of words in the text.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Fanboy Wife Word Find

Here is a word find I created using words that are commonly heard in our household. The words are forward, backward, and diagonal. There are also a few “bonus” words hidden, and those words are also commonly heard in our household.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Ghostbusters Soundtrack

I don’t know what’s worse: that my husband owns the Ghostbusters soundtrack on vinyl or that he actually listens to it.

Monday, August 16, 2010

Iron Man Cartoon

Apparently, I didn’t watch enough TV when I was a kid. I had no idea there was an Iron Man cartoon. I usually watched Animaniacs and Ren and Stimpy as a kid, but my husband watched superhero cartoons. He bought Iron Man: the Complete Animated Series awhile ago, but thankfully he watched most of it when I wasn’t home. I saw part of it, and all I remember was a little bad guy with a big head. He may have had a jetpack on his butt too, but I don’t recall.

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Reusing Superheroes

One of the things that I don’t “get” about comics is the need to keep retelling the same stories about the same characters. Superman has been around for almost 100 year, but his origin story keeps getting told over, and over, and over again. I know it has to do with marketing, but why can’t the corporations just come up with a few new characters?
I know that there are lots of “super” characters. There’s Superman, Supergirl, Superbaby, Superboy, Superboy Prime, Superdog, Bizzaro Superman, and Supermonkey. Powergirl is also related even though she didn’t keep the family name. To help build on the Superfranchise, I am proposing a brand new character. Yes, he has the powers of Superman, but he dresses like Supergirl. His only weakness is the movie To Wong Foo, Thanks for Everything! Julie Newmar.
(Drawing by Fanboy Wife, based on a picture by Carl Gafford.)

Saturday, August 14, 2010

Mutant Messiah

I guess the kid that Cable was babysitting is named Hope, and she’s the Mutant Messiah. Usually, X-Men don’t get their mutant superpowers until they hit puberty, but Hope was different. She did something magical and mutant-like when she was just a baby. I don’t remember what that was because I wasn’t paying that close of attention when Ash was telling me about it.
Anyway, Ash has been catching up on X-Men, and that includes the Second Coming crossover event. This means that all comics that have anything to do the X-Men were linked together. This is a marketing ploy that comic publishers use to get fanboys to buy more titles; otherwise, they’ll miss part of the precious stories.
So, Hope the miracle mutant baby came back with Cable. She’s a grownup now, but all she can do is make her eyes glow. It doesn’t sound that exciting to me!

Friday, August 13, 2010


The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy, The Girl in Lovers Lane, Zombie Nightmare, and Racket Girls are the movies in Mystery Science Theater 3000 Volume XV. Like all other MST3K box sets, this one also earns the Fanboy Wife Seal of Approval.

The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy and The Girl in Lovers Lane are Joel episodes. The first film is an old one with men in bad costumes fighting each other. It has something to do with someone’s past life and an Aztec sacrifice. The Girl in Lovers Lane is about a girl who falls in love with a drifter, and then she gets murdered. The movie itself is pretty forgettable, but Joel and the robots make it enjoyable.
Mike’s episodes include Zombie Nightmare and Racket Girls. Adam West is in the first one, and it is probably the worst movie in the set yet it’s entertaining to watch. Dr. Forrester and TV’s Frank even try out some voodoo. Racket Girls is about professional women’s wrestling in the 1950s. The best part of this episode is the short, Are You Ready for Marriage? Even though this short was previously released in Volume 6, it’s great to see it with the follow up sketches, which include a robot marriage! Personally, I think the short is best part of the whole set, and I think all engaged people should have to watch it to see if they are “Ready for Marriage.”

Thursday, August 12, 2010

Reason #237 Why I Don’t Read Comics

Here is another reason I don’t want to read comics: I am a grownup, and I can enjoy stories without pictures.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Green Lantern Movies

Ash is all giddy because he heard that there is a Green Lantern movie trilogy planned. I know he’s going to hate the movie because he doesn’t like any of the live-action movies that feature comic book characters he likes. I am predicting that we’ll go to the cinema, pay way too much for tickets, get stuck to the floor, have to sit behind really loud children, not be able to afford the $20 box of Junior Mints, and Ash will complain the whole time because it’s not exactly like the comic.

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

Doctor Who Underworld and Under Funded

Ash recently made me watch Doctor Who: Underworld. Like other episodes of Doctor Who, it is pretty terrible. Ash said that this is when the show ran out of money, so most of the scenes were shot in front of a green screen. I could easily tell that most of the “sets” were green screens, but Ash felt the need to justify why. Whenever the characters are standing on “rock” it was amusing. I also thought the knitted storm troopers were pretty funny.

Monday, August 9, 2010

Marvelman Loves Clamato

Recently, Ash kept saying, “Kimota,” over and over again. I had no idea why. When he said, “Kimota,” again, I asked him if it was that drink that’s made of tomatoes and clams. “No,” he said, “that’s Clamato.”
(Drawing by Fanboy Wife, based on a picture by Howard Chaykin.)
Apparently “Kimota” is the magic word that Marvelman shouts to get his magic powers.

Sunday, August 8, 2010

Fanboy Math Quiz

It is a popular misconception that fanboys are good at math because they are nerds. My husband, for example, is not great with math. I have put together a short quiz of math questions that are applicable to Ash and the math in his life.

  1. If Ash has $167.92 in his bank account and he wants to preorder comics online because of the discount, at what point does his overdraft fee negate the savings?
  2. If Ash has a shelf that is 22” wide, and he wants to store over 60 Doctor Who DVDs and all of the Red Dwarf DVDs on it, how many boxes will end up being piled on top of the shelf and on the floor?
  3. If Doctor Who was 6’3” and his scarf was 17’ long, and Ash is 5’11”, how long of a scarf would Ash need so his would be proportionate to Doctor Who’s?
  4. If Ash and I live in a tiny apartment and only have 35 square feet of open space in our bedroom, how many long boxes can Ash store in there before I leave him?

Saturday, August 7, 2010

Joe Don Baker as Doctor Who

One of the recent acquisitions Ash made for his Doctor Who collection includes a Doctor I hadn’t seen yet. This doctor wears a clown jacket, yellow striped pants, and a ribbon tie. He doesn’t seem to be a very good Doctor, if there is such a thing. I made the joke that this Doctor is the Joe Don Baker of Doctors. (Joe Don Baker acted in a few movies featured on the show Mystery Science Theater 3000.) Ash didn’t think that was very funny, and then he told me that the actor’s name is Colin Baker. This makes it even funnier. I am now convinced that Colin Baker and Joe Don Baker are brothers!

Friday, August 6, 2010

Wonder Woman’s New Costume

I know that Wonder Woman’s new costume is old news, but I feel compelled to comment on it since I have often complained about the skanky costumes many female superheroes have to wear. Even though the new costume is skin tight, I think it’s a big improvement from the old star spangles skivvies! Wonder Woman finally has pants! She even has a jacket that’s not formfitting, which makes her pants and bodice palatable. I hope readers like the change so more superheroes get a makeover.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

Take Pity and Buy Ash's Stuff

Alright, this should be the last time I post my eBay spam. I put the rest of Ash's stuff he's will to part with on eBay today. So, if you have any pity on us, please take a look. If you're on Ash's side, then you're helping out a fellow fanboy pay his bills. If you're on my side, then you're helping me reclaim some shelf space in my tiny apartment. (I also benefit from the paid bills.)
First up, I have Ash's signed copy of a Cowboy Ninja Viking script.
Next, this is Ash's copy of Ex Machina.
Finally, I added a bunch of movies. I'm offering free shipping, and most of these movies are starting at $3.00.

Fanboy Bingo

When living with a fanboy, one needs to develop coping devices. One of the devices I’ve created is Fanboy Bingo. All you need to do is print the card and mark off the squares when you see a fanboy take one of the actions. Whoever gets five in a row, or all 4 corners, “wins.”

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

All American Comic Sale (Captain America, X-Men, Punisher...)

I put some more of Ash's stuff on eBay today. Everything has free shipping, and I priced everything at about 1/3-1/2 of the original costs because we need it out of our tiny apartment and Ash needs money. If you have any pity, take a look and add more to your collection. (If you are a fanboy wife like me, keep your spouse away from eBay for the next week!)
Here is Ash's All American Captain America Sale:
Ash's 3 volumes of Runaways. (The only reason I get to sell these is because he has more than one copy.)
Here are 3 Punisher books for the price of one.
Finally, here is Ash's copy of Exiles.