Saturday, January 25, 2014

Green Lantern Juice

Soylent Green Lantern is made of people.

For some reason, I bought green Kool Aid. I think it was Soylent Green flavored. It was horrible. It was gross, it was bitter, and it was unappealing on so many levels. Ash drank it, but I think he only liked it because he thought it looked cool in his Green Lantern glass.


Monday, January 20, 2014

PSII: and the Legend Continues

My husband, owner of numerous game consoles, came home with yet another to add to his collection. He bought a Play Station 2 for $15 at a flea market. He was so proud of his newest acquisition, even though he has a perfectly fine PS3 that’s not paid off yet.

As soon as he got home he hooked it up, and it turned on which meant to him that it would work. He deleted the game data of the previous owner, and then put in his only PS2 disc. With much triumph and fanfare, the game didn’t load. He turned it off, back on, and still nothing happened. I told him to blow on the game to get it to work, and he got grumpy fast! Ash was crushed; his new toy was broken.

I told him it was probably full of dust and offered to clean it for him. He thought a better solution would be to take it to a used game store and pay someone to fix it. Diplomatically, I did my best to explain that it would be ridiculous to pay more money to fix it than it is worth, especially since he has many other consoles. He told me that he didn’t want me to fix it because I didn’t know what I was doing and I’d probably break it. This made me more determined to want to fix it. I then reminded him how I got his Super Nintendo controllers back to working condition, so he reluctantly agreed to let me clean the Play Station.

Oh no! I voided the warranty!
I started off just using canned air, but I thought that I needed to open it up to get out the rest of the dust. I told him I’d have to break the warranty seal, which upset him for some reason even though this console was as old as the dirt that filled it. The sticker was printed with a warning label written in cuneiform. Despite Ash’s weeping, I took apart the entire system. The thing was infested with dust bunnies! It was pretty gross. While I was removing the dust, Ash found a video that described how to take apart the thingamabob that reads the disks to clean it. Since the console had to be turned on to open a certain part, the video warned multiple times not to look directly in the laser. Ash had to help me turn on the system so I could get to the oculus of Ra to clean it, and after I thought he turned it off I looked at the system, but that was when he turned it on! I swear, he kept turning on the deadly laser every time he thought I might look at it. After my retinas were thoroughly radiated with evil laser beams of death, I got everything else cleaned out and put back together. I only managed to lose one tiny, little screw. I thought I dropped it somewhere in the console, but when I shook it I couldn’t hear it. It’s either wedged somewhere in the device or it’s lost within the crevasses of my living room carpet.

Avert your eyes! The lasers will melt your eyes!

After all of my toil and Ash’s agony, he hooked the PS2 back up and it work! I fixed his new, old toy. It wasn’t until he started playing it that I realized he used to reverse psychology to get me to fix it by saying I couldn’t do it. So, today’s lesson is that if your significant other brings home a pile of junk and claims that you will be unable to fix it, just sigh and say, “You’re right, we should just throw it away.”


Sunday, January 12, 2014

Superhero Yoga: Flash Ignition Pose

It’s been quite awhile since I’ve had the free time to attend a yoga class. I also haven’t been doing too much exercise since I started graduate school, but I thought I should give Superhero Yoga another shot. This is also provides me with a legitimate excuse to wear my comfy yoga pants.

First of all, I’m going to be upfront and admit that I don’t do a lot of running. Honestly, the last time I ran for real was for the Presidential Fitness test when I was in elementary school. Perhaps my lack of experience as a runner is why I had so much trouble with the Flash Ignition Pose.

Maybe this would be easier if I had yellow boots?

The Flash Ignition Pose requires a wide stride. For advanced athletes who can dislocate their hips, the left leg should cross in front of the right with a big step. The right shoulder should be lower than the left and twist forward. Both hands form fists, and the head looks upward with a smile.

As I stated earlier, I am not an athlete by any stretch of the imagination, so I was unable to balance completely on my right front foot with my legs crossed. This is why my other leg is still visible. I also was unable to get my right thigh to touch my abdomen, pull my left shoulder all the way back, and manage to smile as big as the Flash!

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Non-Sonic Screwdriver

Fezzes are cool, but I'm not convinced about this bow tie. 
I began today by being productive and getting things done, however, that didn’t last long. My industriousness ended when I thought wearing a fez and contemplating the non-sonic properties of my screwdriver was a better use of my time than doing the dishes or painting. 

Saturday, January 4, 2014

Wonder Woman Socks

No one can defeat my feet!

Ash and I were invited for lunch with friends and their family, so I told Ash to wear something nice. After he got dressed, he saw what I was wearing and protested. “I thought you said you were going to dress up,” he exclaimed, “Why are you wearing those socks?” My excuse is that my Wonder Woman socks were the fanciest socks I own. They have capes! What’s fancier than a cape? 

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

Bruce Campbell Costume and Chainsaw

Hail to the king, baby!

I believe my Bruce Campbell costume turned out well for Halloween. Even though I spent most of my time on the chainsaw, I managed to get my Army of Darkness costume finished in the nick of time. My husband even bought me a plastic boom stick that I painted to look bloody to go with my chainsaw arm.

This if my favorite photo from Halloween featuring my favorite wench! I only wish I had Photoshop so I could splice us onto the Army of Darkness poster.